YTuesday, November 22, 2005
yesterday after watchin "just like heaVen" wit ammar we sat at starbux and met aida, ellyas and ma sis..hung out and crapped to the max before watchin Harry Potter..after which i switched on Ellyas' ipod and heard the song "Give thanks to Allah"..whom he claims was sung by MJ..wth.haha..
anyways,wat moved me was that why in the f*in werld do ppl wana commit suicide or end their live so soon when there's so mANY greatness in life..we should be lucky to be alive and sheltered and to have that many people who actually give a shyt abt us.
those people ARE just eluded by their pain and sufferings that they let the chances of movin on and lookin straight ahead (knowin that there will be light at the end of the road) pass them by...why does tis hafta happen? y does it hafta happen to me?
wats the point in cutting myself and swallowin pills and hurtin myself wen the next day i still hafta wake up alone and depressed and empty. eremophobia.they'd say.the fear to be in solitude and livin alone.BUT til when do i hafta feel tis way? till wen do i hafta pun a mask that doesnt belong to me?
i wana fly free again..just like before..except that..now..im alone..
physically alone..but emotionally i noe im one..wit myself.
im gona fix myself..and be like who i was before and stop hurting myself.
im grateful to have ppl who cares and give a shyt abt me.
im lucky im still alive. *smiles*
-awakened
_callous_ was here with you at
